Shared May 31, 2019
In the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, you play as the last Dragonborn. A mythical man, woman, cat, or lizard, that must fulfill their prophecy of stopping the Eater of Worlds with a wide assortment of weapons, magical spells, companions, and play styles. But what if you wanted to avoid all physical weaponry. Can You Beat Skyrim By Only Using Shouts?
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Can You Beat Skyrim By Only Using Shouts? (in text form)
The limitations of this challenge are the same as every other weapon-restricted challenge I’ve done. The only way I can damage an enemy is with Shouts. No swords, no bows, no spells, no scrolls. That’s the only restriction. I can still use healing spells, I can still wear armor, I can still use perks as I level up.
Fresh out the gate, I’m not even going to attempt to say that this a normal beginning to the game. It’s not. And I don’t care. After Other Prisoner made a run for it, I noticed something was off. Someone was dead. I ignored it and chose an Imperial as my race because they start with +10 to Restoration, +5 to Heavy Armor, have Voice of the Emperor as their special ability, which calms humanoid creatures for 60 seconds, and they have a chance to find more gold. I named myself Shouter McGavin, a ghost from beyond the grave gave the order to send me to the chopping block.
The first executionee almost into position, and that’s when it hit me. The Captain who kicks the soldier’s head onto the block was dead. With no-one to kickstart the execution, it would never begin. I tried speeding up the game to see if anything happened. At one point, I had ratcheted it up to 500x speed, days were passing in mere seconds. It did nothing. At 1000x speed, things got a little weird. At 10,000x speed, the game crashed.
I then started the game anew, named myself Shouter McGavin v2, and the same thing happened again. I tried just resurrecting the Captain, but she didn’t actually exist. Then I tried spawning her, but apparently I [boop] granola at console commands. Not willing to get [booped] again, I reloaded a save from a previous playthrough where nothing broke, welcomed Shouter McGavin v3 to the world, and Alduin arrived to save the day.
Getting into Helgen Keep was easy enough. I danced with a bucket while deciding what to do about my primal urges. I wasn’t taking the amount of damage I thought I should be, so I upped the difficulty to Adept, pressed onward through the caves, and exited out into Skyrim. The current predicament is that I have no means of doing damage to an enemy. My only option is to run away. After I stumbled off a cliff and died, I regained my composure, and set my eyes on the prize. A dragon needs to die. My options were to find one and try to lure it into a city or mammoths or something, or I push through the main quest line until the dragon arrived outside Whiterun.
That seemed like the more logical choice. After I stole as many buckets as I could from Riverwood, ventured over the hill to Whiterun, whined a Giant to death, and persuaded my way into Whiterun. I explained the dragon situation to Jarl Balgruuf, who dragged Farengar Stupid-Name into the conversation. He tasked me with tracking down the Dragonstone and returning it to him.
I went on baby’s first mountain climbing adventure until I discovered Bleak Falls Barrow, I got overzealous in my attempt to ignore the Bandits on the way to Bleak Falls entrance, danced over the nothing, and made my way inside. I attempted to sneak passed the Bandits inside, which didn’t really work. The arrow trap in the first puzzle room worked to my advantage.
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